Faith is believing when that's all there's left
by kagje94
Summary: "You've got to trust the future…you're in a pretty dark place but I assure you the light is there...you just can't see it yet." That was six years ago, now she's desparate to get over him and finally move on, but to do that she has to go back home first.
1. Getting Thrust Back In The Past

_**This is a new Story of mine, but I want some opinions on it whether or not to continue, **_

_**the the next chapter will be up by the end of the month, maybe earlier...  
But i've been working with a writers block for a while so, i'm picking up feelings or idea from songs or the episodes itself, I wrote the begining of it after a heart breaking Fanfic i read and then I watched the Ep where Haley's mom died and it was even worse but with the wieh.. gone was my inspiration.. usually I wait till have have a couple of chapter and a steady wrting rythem before publishing, but i need some opinions on it. **_

_**Love philine!**_

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Chapter1. thrust back in the past

"**You've got to trust the future…you're in a pretty dark place but I assure you the light is there...you just can't see it yet."**

That what she said, her light, her very own personal sun. She always was her sanity when the world made no sense. When she showed up one night when she was suppose to be somewhere else, claiming that it hurt that her chest was about to explode. Begging her to make the aching stop, to just please make it stop. She had rocked her in arms smoothed her and told her the pain would subside with time. Telling her that one day she would wake up and her whole world would be turning again and that the pain she was now begging to leaving, would no longer be there.

Her light, her guidance, the one that made the future reachable and the present not such a dark place. She was her only light in a time that was dark and that revolved around the stabbing aching pain in her chest…

_"Make it stop! Please Brooke make it stop I can't take! I hurts so badly just make it stop!" She begged, sobbing. "Sshh what happened honey?" Brooke rocked her oldest friend in her arms, trying to make sense out of the outrageous cries and sobs. "One can't believe the pain of heart break until they live through it themselves." She sobbed, clutching her chest, holding herself together. "Make it stop, Make me breath again. I can't breathe. It feels like someone hit the air from out my lungs." Tears rolled down her cheeks, taking all the traces of her mascara down with them._  
_"Shh, honey. The pain will subside in time. Let time heal your heart and your heart will heal your soul" Brooke whispered to her friend. She didn't know what happened. She didn't know exactly, but she knew enough... When Haley had calmed down, still holding herself together wrapping her arms around her chest. Brooke told her girl; "You know what Harvey Mackey said right. "Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Kiss slowly. Forgive quickly. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."_

Haley had always thought it was fate that shortly after her father got transferred to another branch of the company he worked at and they moved. _"believe that everything happens for a reason…." _Those had been the key words to healing process. It was a long process it took her all of college to work through the pain and to see the light again. But it had been like Brooke told her. One day she just woke up and her chest did no longer hurt and she could breathe again. That had been a good day. It was a first in 5 years.

Today Haley it was exactly five years since she graduated, six years since that horrible day.

Haley walked the streets of New York City and she loved it. Today even more than other days she was going to live the fullest, she was going to live the day and go to bed tonight know that she did so and that she had a great day.

She flopped into a stool at the Hilton Hotel Bar. "Hey Brookie, today is a good day!" she said. Even though she moved to New York in the summer following her junior year Haley and Brooke stayed close and found each other again in college. "So were here at 10 am on a Wednesday in a bar because it's a good day." Brooke asked incredulously. 'Yep, because today I have a date !" She stated. "and we're celebrating my New found .. whatever he may be ." Brooke chuckled.  
Haley knew how Brooke thought about it, because the fact was Brooke was the one on whose doorstep Haley stood that night and Brooke hated Nathan deeply for putting Haley through that pain, but she may never get over Nathan if she didn't try "Haley are you sure you're ready? I knoe it's been six years but each of your previous attempt failed miserably." Brooke shook her head.

Instead of arguing with her Haley laughed. 'I know Brooke… uh I mean I know you think so but that's part of this great day. I have a date tonight!" She announced proudly. Brooke opened her mouth to again object to Haley throwing herself back into the dating scene. "Ssh!" Haley insisted. "Okay this is going to sound weird form my lips, but I vaguely remember my mom telling Ben once that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else." Brooke's jaw dropped. 'Haley Marie James I am proud I taught you well!" she gushed.

"So tell me where does this date come from?" Brooke quipped, Brooke had clearly decided to let it go so Haley sat up downing her drink. "Well I have this colleague, who has brother I think two years older than me who is a sports agent and she is setting us up on a blind date!" Haley beamed.  
Brooke was happy for her friend because Haley had been in a dark place for a long time. The chills went down her back every time she thought back to the night Haley showed up at her doorstep and burst out in tears the moment she opened the door. Her cries were burned into her memory. They still echoed in her head when she thought about it. _"It hurts so badly Brooke make it stop! I can't breathe! Make it stop!"_ The purest level of torture she had ever seen. "Brooke? I'm okay now. I know I've been pretty dark for a while, but I haven't been that way in a long time."

"I know honey just be careful okay?" she told Haley, she didn't want to see her best friend go through something like that again. Although Brooke doubted that anyone could be anywhere near as cruel as Nathan, she was wary to the idea it might happen again. "Okay what time and where?"

Haley's face lit up, she needed Brooke's support in this, she couldn't do it without her. Brooke was her light and personal sun her optimist in bad times, she couldn't do it without Brooke backing her up. "Thanks you Brooke." She smiled. "At _Le Cheval Blanc_ 8 pm." She stated. "And I need you to go shopping with me so I look stunning!" she continued, knowing that was all that was needed to make Brooke in on this. "I'm in let's go, lot's to do and so little time!" she gushed.

Brooke pulled Haley from shop to store to boutique searching for the best dress to make Haley irresistible, while Haley's mind was consumed with other thoughts. Thoughts she shouldn't be having and if Brooke knew she'd not be gushing about the pair of Jimmy Choo's. Yes Haley's head was still occupied by Nathan. Because even though he broke her heart and her heart may have healed, but her soul was far from fine. "Yeah Brooke, but I don't need shoes I need a dress!" Haley said.

Later that evening Haley stepped out of her cab and straightened her black cocktail dress. She took a deep breath. She hated to admit that she was nervous as hell, she hadn't really dated a lot in her life and this would be her third date since Nathan broke up with her SIX years ago. She walked into the restaurant, the hostess asking who she was looking for. "Oh, Roe I think." She said. The woman looked in the reservations book and pointed Haley the table. She nodded.

Making her way towards the table where a good looking blonde guy was looking around. "Hi, I'm Haley." She said reaching out her hand for him. Her shook her hand a little awkwardly. Maybe hand shaking wasn't the most appropriate way of greeting him.. she thought. "I'm Lucas, nice to meet you." He replied before sitting back down. Haley took her place. "So…" A voice in her head told her "what now… you shouldn't have gone on a date like this it's awkward and you're never good with awkward."

The waiter passed asking if they wanted something to drink and to hand them a menu. Haley ordered red wine, although right now she needed a whiskey.

That night as Lucas walked her home in the warm summer air, she sniffed up the smell of summer. She loved the summer, it gave her a feeling of freedom. She skipped up the steps to her front door; "Thank you for walking me home." She told him, smiled and kissed him lightly on his cheek.

Then she turned around and put her key in the door, not wanting to give the guy the idea that she wanted to do this again. "Oh, Okay." Lucas mumbled and descended the steps as she closed the door behind her. She was never going to live happily ever after like this. She knew that what she needed was to confront Nathan, after six years it might just be what she needed to let go of him.

Unfortunately, Brooke didn't think it was a good idea. "Haley! You're risking wounding your heart again here." Haley sighed and hugged her friend for taking care of her so well. 'I know that Brooke, but I honestly think I'm strong enough to face him." Brooke shook her head unsure, but said nothing.

I suppose she knew Haley had to do this. Haley felt like she was going to be stuck with her love for Nathan as long as she could break that image of him in her head.

The next Morning Brooke and Haley both had packed a suitcase and they were headed out back to Tree Hill. Brooke had innocently send out an email to everyone last night to ask if they felt like a reunion in Tree Hill for a couple of weeks, you know the old gang. To Haley's surprise they had all agreed to coming immediately the next morning. Nathan too. Brooke hadn't had a whole lot of contact this their gang anymore and no one knew She'd stayed so close to Haley after Haley moved.

Haley looked at Brooke who looked back at her with doubtful eyes. 'Are you sure you want to do this?" Haley nervously turned her pinky ring a little and looked down at her feet. "I'm scared. … But I'm sure. I need to do this in order to move on."

He broke her heart, ripped it out stomped on is and then stabbed a knife in her chest and turned it, before kicking out on the street.

As She and Brooke boarded their plane Haley began to replay that night in her head; How she'd walked up to Nathan house, skipped up the steps to his door. How she'd rang the doorbell and fixed her hair in the window. How her heart had pounced in her chest with anticipation. How she'd discussed the matter with Brooke and had decided that she was ready and that she wanted to give herself to him. How he'd opened the door with no shirt on, slightly shocked that she, his petite curly blonde girlfriend, had been standing on his doorstep with the biggest smile on her face that then slowly began to fade. How she'd seen a cheerleading skirt on the hallway floor and the top she'd reckoned to be Rachel's. How he'd seen the understanding on her face and opened his mouth trying to 'apologize' to her. How she'd suddenly felt like all the air was getting hit from her lungs and she was gasping for air.

With pain she tried to pull back the memory of his face that looked merely apologetic, but it was as if it was locked away in a little box inside her head, labeled 'Dangerous' or 'Life threatening'

Brooke took her hand and held it, she'd probably felt how tense Haley had been. It was then that she realized that a year ago that aching pain and been exchanged for this numb feeling of not feelings at all and that that was why none of her dates had worked she wasn't feeling at all.

The plane landed in Tree Hill after a tiring flight and Both Haley and Brooke took their residency in a cute apartment; two bedrooms one bathroom and kitchen a living room and already furnished.

Haley lay down on her bed and closed her eyes trying to calm herself and her nerves and get her mind of was going to be happening shortly. Brooke had decided it maybe it was better to leave Haley alone so she could emotionally prepare for the following days. She brought her some tea, but after that she withdrew to her own bedroom and began to unpack to ease her own mind.

The next morning Brooke sent out an email to everyone to check whether they arrived and if they were able to meet up at the rivercourt at 6 pm that day. After having received positive reactions from everyone Haley suggested to Brooke that they'd go shopping. "Hales? What do you think of this one?" Brooke held up a set of red lace lingerie. "No thank you, I was looking for something to sleep in." She shrugged. Haley was suddenly bothered by a unpleasant chill running down her spine. She looked over at Brooke who was still nonchalantly looking for underwear.

"Maybe this is what you're looking for?" A high pitched voice called to her and fearing the worse Haley turned around sweeping her blonde locks over her shoulder. There she was the Devil, wearing just about the same amount of clothes as each of the hangers in the racks. "No, I was looking for something little less.." Haley just told her, acting like she didn't recognized her and was just being polite. Rachel. The girl Nathan had betrayed her with. "Ahh, Haley Don't ignore me, like you don't remember me.. It surprises me you're here though, didn't know you still belong to our 'gang'." Haley continued to ignore her, but grew increasingly more agitated and panicked.

"Oh come on Haley? You remember me don't you.. you practically found me naked in your boyfriends bed?"She told her in a very slick sweet voice. Haley felt like she was going to throw up and searched for Brooke in panic. "Brooke?" she called out trying to keep her voice steady.

"I'm here!" Brooke's hand waved from one of the dressing room. Haley quickly walked to the dressing room and went inside. "Wah! Haley!" She screeched what cha doing in here?"

"Hiding!" Haley hissed and dropped down on the chair in the little room. "from what?" Haley rolled her eyes and leaned her head on her heads.. "from Who, is the right question and the answer to that is the bane of my existence, aka; Rachel Gatina! You didn't tell me you invited her too! She's not one of us..!" Brooke looked at her a little guiltily. "Uhm… She sort of tried to take your place after you left, she was actually close with Mouth and Bevin and Skills, and with Nathan from time to time too."

Haley felt like crying, but since Rachel was still out there she didn't want to give her that satisfaction. Brooke smoothed Haley hair, "sorry honey.."

Haley fixed her hair and waited till Brooke was done. She wandered back into the store while Brooke went to pay for her underwear. "Haley! There you are I already thought you left or something!" Rachel sneered. "Nope, just giving Brooke my opinion." She told her simply.

Then passed her out of the store. "Haley, You can't b still mad at me, it was simply a matter of time before he caved for someone who would give him any." Haley swallowed. 'Exactly, 'someone – Anyone! - who would give him any… And for gods sakes grow up."

Haley turned on her heels and walked away, she desperately needed a little more time to think before the big confrontation tonight.

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Please! Let me know what you think!


	2. Can't, Handle, The, Pain!

**sorry it took so long to get two up! I'm in the middle of my finals for this year, so i've been too busy to write.. **  
**but here it is at last! enjoy!**

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**Chapter 2. Can't. Handle. The. Pain!**

"Maybe I don´t have to go.." Haley opted as she and Brooke got ready for their rivercourt meeting with the old gang.. "No one knows I´m coming.." Brooke shook her Haley and Haley plopped down on bed disappointedly.  
"No, Haley.. Rachel already know you're here. Plus they are all here because you needed to set things straight with Nathan." Haley turned her eyes away and sighed. Brooke was right, but she didn't know if she was ready, after her run in with Rachel her confidence was shaken and she realized that although the pain has subsided her love for him was still there, the fact that Rachel slept with him still hurt her.

"Honey, just try to look fabulous and make him see what he lost." What he lost.. Like that compared to what she lost, besides college as the best days of your life.. she lost the guy she loved, her faith in men and the guy she thought she wanted to lose her virginity to, although that was the same as the guy she loved. Thinking about that, she shivered; She'd lost her virginity her first year of college to a guy at a party. (she'd gotten drunk after crying her eyes up over Nathan once more and then slept with a random guy at a party)

Standing up from the bed and slipping into her white linen pants and exchanging her white blouse for a red tank top and a wide white, button-up V-neck cotton shirt. She clipped a couple of strands of hair back at her head and curled the others a little more nicely. "How do I look?" She turned around to Brooke? "Presentable?" Brooke nodded; "You look gorgeous, Hales he's going to be blown away." Haley rolled her eyes at Brooke, she could be such a drama queen.

But Haley eyes caught the clock and she added; "She's also going to be not there anymore if we don't hurry." It was 6 o'clock already and they still had to leave. "Shit!" Brooke hissed and grabbed her purse. "come on!" She pulled her out by the arm.

Driving through a town she'd left a long time ago all memories came rushing back, and it was about to get a whole lot worse.. Brooke's rental BMW turned up the grass next to the court and as it was only 6:10 everyone was there. Brooke looked at me to comfort me, I took a deep breath and then got out of the car. My heart was pounding in my throat and my knees were almost buckling. Sweeping my hair over my shoulder, I walked around the car and joined Brooke on her side. Together we walked up to the court.

"Brooke!" Peyton was the first one to greet Brooke. "God it's been so long!" Peyton hugged Broke and only now saw Haley standing slightly behind her. "Oh my God Haley James! It's been so long! How are you! I didn't know you and Brooke were still in touch?" She hugged her, squeezed her, apparently till Peyton realized she hadn't seen Nathan for the same amount of time, give or take a week, and that they had a heavy history.

She and Brooke passed Peyton(Peyton walking with us back to the court where the rest was waiting for them) there were Jake, Skills, Mouth, Rachel and Nathan. She couldn't just yet face Nathan like that so she decided to play it safe and greet Mouth first. "Hey Mouth.." She hugged him, that when she noticed the girl standing off the court waiting a watching, she was huffing jealously. "Haley James, Long time no see! How have you been." Oh the dreaded question, truth; not so great. Truth/Lie? Lie.

"I've been great.." Her lying talent had grown immensely. "I glad me too. That's my Girlfriend Millie over there." He said. she grinned; "Ah, You did good Mouth." Brooke at the same time greeted some others, Nathan among them, so not all attention was on her. "So you were in touch with Brooke all along? Why did she call us here on such short notice." She'd always loved Mouth. "I asked her too." Haley told me proudly. "I missed you all.." another great lie escaping her lips.

_She still looked as beautiful as she did six years ago, maybe prettier. Although Nathan had to admit he was surprised that she was here, it shouldn't have surprised him that she was still in touch with Brooke. The stories he'd heard of the two after Haley found him with Rachel made clear they were close and that Brooke had been her support through everything. _

Brooke walked up to her and Mouth and called; 'Mouth! Did she tell you about her hot date the other day?.. Hang on. You didn't tell me how it went.."Brooke suddenly realized. All Haley had said after the date was that she needed to get over Nathan first. "It was okay.. I'm sure we'll meet again." Haley chuckled.

"Awesome." The rest had come to stand around them. "Shall we get something to eat?" Nathan spoke up for the first time.. She felt that ache right back where it had been for a long time. Just his voice, the same hoarse voice.. She shouldn't be thinking like that, that was just torturing herself.  
The rest had agreed to the eating thing and she merely nodded. Looking back up to the group she saw Mouth stare up at her in understanding, but she just smiled back. It was all a little uncomfortable just yet.

As they got into their cars and drove to the little café they had always hung out. Haley slummed at the back of the group dreading to go inside and spend the whole evening in one room with Nathan.

But when she entered the café it was only Nathan sitting at a table, the rest had miraculously disappeared. She was positively sure that it was Brookes doing, since she'd insisted she'd drive with Peyton and Mouth here and Haley would take her car.

I attempt to play it cool she looked around nonchalantly and then sat down at the table; 'Where did the rest go off to." She asked, pulling a cigarette from her purse and a lighter. The smoking was a bad habit she'd developed during college to control her mood swings. "You smoke?"Nathan asked unbelievably.

Haley rolled her eyes as to say 'duh!' lt her cigarette and inhaled. As she blew out the smoke she replied: "Yeah, it calms down. It's a habit I picked up in college." She explained now calmly. She was feeling a lot more comfortable. "You got stressed over college?" Nathan asked incredulously.

The insinuation that she would be worried about her school work was widely insulting, he should have known her better that that. Her abilities of handling her school work were not the stress factor, but her heart that he broke! But saying that to him, now would be the beginning of digging up all issue she came here to handle; the Question was : Was she ready for that?

"No." she stated matter-of-factly. "I'm just not who I used to be. Nathan. Lots has changed." But instead of moving on form the smoking issue he kept questioning the bad habit, or more the reason behind it. "But why smoking?"

"Problems with sleeping, problems with concentration…" by now Haley was looking quite frantic for Brooke and Peyton, but as she saw the car Brooke brought to the café no longer on the spot, she understood it was Brookes way of letting talk out her issues. How she got Rachel to back off she didn't know, but frankly she didn't care.

Nathan frowned. Haley sighed and decided it was now or never. "Nathan.." Nathan looked up. "Lke I said I'm not who I used to be. You hurt me badly." She forced a half-hearted smile. "Haley.." he stuttered. "No. Nathan. I need you to hear this. I loved you, a lot. and it hurt so much when you betrayed my love like that. It took so long for it to stop hurting, and ever since I've never felt a thing again. So the smoking is merely one of the least serious side effects of what you did to me." The last came out more resentful then it was meant.

"Haley… I.. I didn't.." A tear rolled down her face. "If you were that unhappy. You could have just told me and I would have let you go, and then I probably wouldn't be sitting here."

Nathan frowned. "Not?" Or maybe she would have been here back at some point but then without any hard feelings. "Probably not. You think Brooke orchestrated this…" She waved her hand at the surroundings of the empty café. "..without a reason. This sounds pretty dumb, but it's the truth so please do try to judge me." She closed her eyes for a short moment and let her tongue wet her lips.

"Two days ago I sat in a bar with Brooke around 10 am, somewhere in New York. I told her I had a date, and that I needed her to shop for a good dress with me." Nathan seemed confused, he had probably no idea what she was getting at. "She spotted ten pairs of fantastic shoes, so eventually I she putted on a dress, I already had." Haley was trying to calm her nerves, before telling him what she was doing here.

"I went out on this great date. The guy is sweet, and funny…, but I felt nothing! Because all I still can think about is you." She wiped a tear from eyes her frustrated. She hated being so vulnerable, the last time she'd been so vulnerable with Nathan, he'd broken her heart.  
Nathan didn't say much, he probably didn't know what to say what he hadn't said before. Al the same. Suddenly she realized she never knew how this confrontation was going to help her move on. What she wanted from him to make her move on, because this wasn't helping.

"I never meant to, hurt you Haley.. It was just for the best." Haley was slightly shocked to hear him say this. He finally opened his mouth and he said that it was for the best! The clenched her jaw and stood up from the chair she'd been sitting. "Oh, It was for the better!" She yelled. The frustration about all she'd been through was now sky rocketing.

"You mean the pain and the hurt. The bad habits, the fact that I still haven't moved on! That was all for the best!" All the feelings flooding over her, Haley had a hard time figuring out what was what. Part of it was hurt that he didn't care. Part of it was anger that having hurt was 'for the best' part of it was sadness, that the guy she still love so badly never cared.

"Haley could you keep your voice down." They weren't alone in the café. There were few customers, but Mary – she own the place – Was behind the counter.

"Yeah, I'll keep my voice down. For a matter of fact. You'll never hear from me again. I can't believe I wasted six year on you." She grabbed her purse. "I wish you luck with the rest of your live." She spitted out and then left the café.

Running down the street she knew exactly where she was headed, because even though it had been six year since she'd last been here. She ran to the point where she reached the rocks at the side of the river not far from the rivercourt. She cried, feeling exhausted, stupid and humiliated.

Maybe that was what she needed. The revelation that she'd been wasting her time hurting over him, while he never cared! After an hour she had slightly calmed down and wiped the tears from her eyes. It was what she needed. She could finally get on with her live.

Her phone rang and she figured it was Brooke calling to see how it was going, but as if it was some sort of fate. It was Lucas Roe, the guy she had had the date with a couple of days before..

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Let me know what you think? have ideas? let me know! by wednessday my finals are over and I can write for the rest of the summer!

PS. ECLIPSE wednesday!


	3. Wrestling With The World

Hey hoi, So I though it was time to update, it's short, but cute. It's got some resolve on from Haley and also a little peak inside Naley's relationship before in turned bad and Haley left.

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**Chapter 3. Wrestling with the world**

"Hello?" She answered her phone, while wiping the last traces of tears from her eyes. "Hey, Haley? It's me Lucas? We went on a date two days ago? I wondered if you were interested in a second one?' Lucas said. It made her smile and for the first time in a long time she felt good. "Yes, absolutely." She almost grinned.

The fact that she had just finished with Nathan made her now feel so much more like she could breath. "Well.. how about tomorrow night? I'll pick you up at eight?"He sounded so enthusiastic.

"Oh, I'm actually currently not in New York and I'm not sure when I'll be back." Lucas sighed on the other side of the phone. "Not it town? Why didn't you just say no to a second date?" He asked sarcastically. Rolling her eyes, she groaned and said: "because I'd love to go out on a second date, It's just that.. After our first date, I realized I had some unfinished business – I know it's way too soon to talk about past relationships and all; it's something that was way overdue." It went silent on the other side for a bit..

"Okay, You'll... Call when you get back?" he asked eventually. Haley smiled; "Yes, definitely. See you then. Bye." "Bye"

Haley hung up and did a little dance. It had eaten her up that she'd just left town after her date, and the fact that she was not over Nathan when she went on that date, but she felt a whole lot better now. A uncomfortable chill ran down her back suddenly that took the entire good feeling with it.

"So that's why you're here.." Rachel sneered. "You're trying to 'make peace' with the past so you can go on a date with hot guy from New York without feeling guilty?" Haley turned around and nodded. Rachel hit it right on the head; that was exactly what she came to do. "Yes, I'm not here to relive painful memories, Rachel. I'm here to make peace with it. I want to move on, it's cost me way more than it should have and now I'm done." Haley picked up the purse and walked back to the apartment she shared with Brooke.

The truth was that it had never really been Rachel she'd hated. Disliked; yes, Hated; no. She'd always thought it was nature to Rachel, she hadn't expected anything else.

Haley felt as though her heads was full off cotton, and when she arrived home she kicked off her shoes and went to bed. Brooke was still out with the rest, catching up and stuff. Haley didn't have that connection anymore. Taking aspirin and a cup of tea, Haley cuddled up in bed with a book and tried to let go of it all, lie she'd been for the past 6 years, however just like the last six years it remained; easier said than done. She'd hoped to even out her 'differences' with Nathan, so could continue with him on a friendly basis, but seeing him again had made it ever so obvious that they would never be 'just 'friends.

It were the rare moments that Haley would let herself go back to the times that she and Nathan were happy. Like her 17thbirthday.. He'd gone out of his way to find her the perfect birthday present, just that had warmed her heart. And Even though her family were throwing her a birthday party, with all of her family members, he'd see opportunity to take her away for an hour or so and brought her to an old big cabin about an 15 minutes outside of Tree Hill. He'd told her to stay i n the car and not come out until he came to get her. Five minutes later he'd been back with an umbrella or something (it was sunny weather) she's uttered the question : Why is there an umbrella over my head.' And he'd told her grinning that he wouldn't want her to get ticks while walking to the cabin, (15 yards from the car) She'd rolled her eyes dramatically, but as they reached the porch and he putted away the umbrella, he'd pulled her flush against him and leaned down her kiss her...

Haley smiled at the memory, it was one of the best she had of him, although not all the good memories she had of him, could weight up against that one painful memory.  
He _had_ gotten out of his way to get her the thin golden necklace with blue, turquoise, green pendant stone, she'd once gotten from her granny when she died. Her sister had taken it from her, in the first place to wear and sold when she needed money. Haley herself had already tried everything possible to get it back and had been greatly touched by his gesture.

Looking at the clock, she saw it wasn't even nine thirty so she decided to go see the cabin and see how much was left of it. She hopped in the car and thanked the fact that it was still light outside so she at least had daylight to find the cabin in the woods. Although Nathan never told her whose the cabin was, she'd not once considered it was his, or his parents. Mostly because His parents had a beach house and a mansion here in Tree Hill, and other because he had never mentioned the existence, not before and never again after. Like it was some sort of fata morgana.

To her own surprise she found it quite easily, behind the trees and other greenery the cabin began to appear, in its full glory. It looked even better than it had 6 and a half years ago. The number startled her, making her realized it had been her last birthday before ... half a year later she'd found him half naked with Rachel. Haley sat still for a while in her car looking at the cabin when she saw the lights on and decided to see who lived there. If it were the same people maybe they could tell her how they knew Nathan, if not when they bought it and maybe if she could take a look around.

Walking up the front porch Haley giggled and smiled at the memory of her and Nathan at this front porch.. Brooke always said these were these memories she ought to let go of, in order to heal, but it Was this one in particular she could not let go of. In this memory she was in love with Nathan Scott, and so Brooke was probably right, it was this memory she'd clung to all these years, without even allowing herself to remember it.

Haley raised her hand to knock on the wood, her back once had slammed into as Nathan kissed her with need and passion. His best kiss ever, so he claimed. At which she'd playfully grinned and said; 'Well, if all you do it kiss you sort of get good at it.'

Slowly Haley took deep breath and knocked twice of the little worn deeply graved wood of the cabin door.

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**Tada! I decided it was better to cut it short here, I'm done with school for the rest of the summer so I hope to be writing a hell of a lot more. **

**Love Philine**


	4. Can't Deny That Feeling, Now

So, I though it deserved a quite update.. Please opinions! I need them, also ideas? anyway.. A little piece of what thye used to be like, and a development..

Read and Review love philine!

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**Chapter 4. Can't deny that feeling, now.**

Nathan had driven back home from the cafe and had frustrated flopped on the couch with a beer. It bothered him greatly that Haley had refused to let him finish, but much more to hear her say that she was done, it didn't feel done for him. It wasn't!  
It had also hurt when she had said that she'd been so affected by what happened, but he could somehow not help to feel proud that someone had loved him so much. Nonetheless the whole thing bothered him.  
He switched off the Tv and threw the remote angered across the room. Haley had been the love of his life, he remembered the first time he'd noticed her. She'd always been this petty blonde that went everywhere with Brooke Davis; Queen Bee, cheer captain. It wasn't until the beginning of sophomore year that he'd begun to notice her. She had changed over the summer; having spent the summer in Cali with her eldest sister, she'd been beautifully tanned and had these summer sun high lights in her now bouncy blonde curls. Walking into her two days before school began, at Brooke's home for a pool party, she'd had only been wearing a red white striped bikini, and something that Brooke had described as 'cute red white dotted wedges.' He'd been head over heels for from that day on. Finding out more and more about her every day. Every day wondering if she could be anymore perfect. After having spend a considerable amount of time with her in the month that followed, he talked to Jake about it. Jake had always been close with Haley, and growing up always protective of Brooke and Haley...

"Hey, Jake. I need to talk to you man..." Jake rolled her eyes, at Nathan's serious expression something Nathan surly not appreciated. "but promise me first you will listen to the whole story before getting violent." Jake laughed, but then narrowed his eyes : "Why would I be violent?" Nathan quickly shook his head.. 'No reason, just checking." Taking a deep breath he said; "I think I like Haley." Squeezing his eyes shut awaiting Jakes response. "are you finished?" He carefully opened his eyes, Jake did not seem happy. "No, I just wonder if you could tell me, more about her. I mean I've know her lie 5 years now, but she only struck me as beautiful when she returned from Cali." Jake chuckled. "Ahem, Haley sort of .. well let's just say she's not you biggest fan." This surprised Nathan, he'd spent an great amount of time with her and never noticed much of an attitude toward him. "What do you mean?" Jake chuckled again. "She thinks you're annoyingly arrogant, cocky, self –rigorous and too confident."...

I had shocked Nathan too hear Jake tell about Haley. Hear him say that she disliked him, but it had also been refreshing. No girl had ever disliked him. But this girl's heart too, he had conquered proudly. Eventually. Not mentioning the hours of hard work behind it, obviously. However, had it always been the plan, to get rid of her eventually?

A quick rapid knock on his door, and he frowned, putting down the bottle, of cheap no good drain water like beer and stood up. Rubbing a hand through his face, he opened the front door. Only to find the petite blonde that had occupied his mind all day and evening. Who looked, although less tanned as beautiful as he had when she'd returned from Cali that summer. The second thing on his mind however was what she was doing here, since she just ran away from him and he didn't tell her where he was staying. Seeing the shock in her eyes as she stood there, she hadn't expected him, which left as only option: Memories. She had been taking a trip down memory lane, luckily the good ones.

"Haley" He stated grinning – unable to suppress his amusement. "Nathan?" she frowned. God she was cute when she did that, it just made him want to pick her up and kiss her right there. Wowa.. where did that come from. He knew that Haley would always be a big part of his life, but he now got the edgy feeling he still had feelings for Haley.

"What are you doing here?" She asked reproachfully, scrunching cute again. "I'm staying here, while I'm in Tree Hill. What's your accuse?" He grinned, knowing that she's been revisiting old, good memories.. "I was trying to remember the last time I was happy." Ouch.. That hurt, although that was somewhat unreasonable given the pain he'd caused her. "You never told me you own this place.." She added, in a less poisoned tone. He smiled, honest.

"I uh.. my grandmother left it me when she died.. it was once her mother's and she knew that it held some good memories for me.." He shrugged it off. "Oh.."

At some point right then, she had to fight every urge not to jump his bone right then and there. Her heart pounded in her chest, she swallowed the lump in her throat and managed; 'I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come." Keeping her emotions in check Haley turned around and shakily went to walk away. But before she could reach the porch steps she felt a big hand grab hers and twirl her back around. "Please don't go!" Nathan uttered. Haley was more than a little confused. This was the man that broke her heart. That she'd had no good words for left. But as much as she wanted too Haley couldn't deny that she was unmistakably in love with Nathan still. It was unfair and unhealthy and completely petrifying. Looking up in his eyes there wasn't really any of that. All she could see was that familiar longing in his eyes, it was the way he had always looked at her, desire radiating off.

The lump in her throat returned, although she was utterly confused by the desire in his pretty blue eyes, that didn't mean completely captured him his stare. With a fogged mind, still staring up at him, she uneasily bit the inside of her bottom lip.

That was it, his undoing. He let go of her hand and grabbed her face with two hand pulling her in for an earth shattering kiss. Moving his lips on hers he could feel Haley's lips move with his, participating in the kiss. Running his tongue over her bottom lip, she granted him access. He slipped his tongue inside. He slowly brought his hand to the back of her neck rather than her face and the other one to her hip, pulling her a little closer. Right in that moment., he knew that he'd made the biggest mistake of his life, ever making her leave him. Something he'd would regret for the rest of his life, for as far as he didn't already do that, if she wouldn't forgive him.

Breaking apart for air, Haley looked up at him all flustered, with a her beautiful lips all red and swollen from the kiss. He already missed her lips on his, and decided to act on it before it was too late. He pulled her inside and closed the door, pushing her slightly up against it on the inside, returning his lips back to hers.

Haley was completely convinced that she was doing the absolute opposite from what she should be doing, but his touch, felt electric to her. It sparked, it made her skin tinkle as well as her insides. Turning her head back against the wood of the door, Nathan detached his lips from hers and placed them ever so gently on her neck searching for her sensitive spot, while lavishing it with kisses.  
breathing heavily, a quiet moan escaped from her lips, and she felt Nathan smirk against her skin. Haley buried her fingers in his, scrapping his scalp with her nails.

Nathan, knew he'd hurt Haley, but also knew she still love him, that she still desired him as much as she'd always had. He supposed that the fact she still wasn't over him, as she had proclaimed was prove that she cared. Probably too much. She'd been so mad at him only hours ago and now, she was moaning desperately for him to take her.  
he moved his hands from her hips to her behind lifting her up and bringing his lips back to hers. Haley warmed her legs around him, locking them together on his ass and wrapping her arms around his neck. It was inevitable, to him. He carried her to the couch and lowered her onto it, leaning over her petite body. Her flustered face and eyes full of longing, turned him on greatly and so while he once more pulled her in for a long passionate kiss, he slipped his hands under her shirt and pushed it up.

He only broke their kiss once to take of her clothes, and his. Letting his desire for her take over.

It was late and dark, although Haley couldn't see a clock or the sky. She was on a couch, a blanket partially covering her, wrapped up in Nathan's arms. He was sound asleep, but she couldn't sleep. The fog had disappear from her mind, and she was somewhat thinking clearly know.  
She'd always dreamed of what it would be like. Being with Nathan. If it'd really be as special as she'd imagined. If his every touch would indeed give her goose bumps. He was suppose to be her first, instead of that guy, whose name she didn't even remember. Then there was in fact that she'd come to get over him, not under him. He'd been so sweet, the Nathan from her good memories, the Nathan that brought her here and that bent over backwards to get her, her necklace back. Laying there cuddled up is his embrace, was what she'd dreamed of for the past 6 years. His smell surrounding her, making her go weak all over again. His strong abs she felt against her back.

She'd been so mad. Tonight, when he told it was for the best. Being convinced he never cared, but she didn't know, although of course there was the nudging feeling it was just about the sex for him, that wasn't the ruling thought.  
Nonetheless, she slipped out of his embrace and began to gather her clothes. Having gathered them and putted them on, she felt the tears well up in her eyes. As she watched his sleeping form.

She picked up her purse and turned around to look at him once more. Never had leaving him been so hard. All previous times he'd made her run away so fast she'd refused to even look back. "I love you, Nathan Scott. I wish you could have done the same, for me." She kiss his lips and then left, pulling the front door closed.

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So next chapter, is going to fill in some blind spots on what happened the days before Nathan cheated, and what happened in the six years after parts of it.

Love philine!


	5. Dealing with the Fallout

**So Chapter 5.. As the story continues... How are they dealing with the fallout of that night?**

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Chapter 5. Dealing with the Fallout

"Haley Marie James!" Brooke's voice was seething. Unaware of the fact that she did something wrong, Haley entered their apartment, at 5 in the morning. "Where the hell do you get off staying out all night!" She screeched. Too tired and emotional to do anything but sleep, she ignored Brooke and went straight for her bedroom, locking the door. As she'd just returned from Nathan's, she was way too conflicted to do discuss this with Brooke, and therefore decided that it was better to not tell her at all. "Haley!" Also she didn't know why Brooke was so angry and right now couldn't use another issue. Changing her clothes, Haley got ready for bed and then actually went to sleep this time.

It was about two hours later that Nathan woke up, the sunlight beamed in his face, feeling the warm shudder going over his skin. He turned around grabbing his cover, but instead grabbed a thin blanked and fell to the floor. Being wide awake now, Nathan remembered what happened last night, and seeing as Haley was no longer there, nor were her clothes, she'd left at god know what hour, without waking him up.

It made him hopeless, and confused as to where they stood as a couple. Although it was clear from Haley's actions, that she wasn't here to get him back, it was clear to him that she wasn't sure about what she did want. He decided to shower and go find Haley, before the whole thing got more and more out of hand. Nathan was sure that last night, Haley had been looking for that piece of the past, that did make her happy. Maybe even a piece of him, that had made her happy.  
One way or another, she clearly didn't know which version of him to belief. He had to change that 'cause, he'd cursed himself for the mistake he'd made, and right now wanted nothing more than the girl he loved back.

When Haley entered the kitchen that same morning Brooke was already up and looked still angry. "What's the problem Brooke?" She groaned. After Brooke's hiss fit, last night she'd been positive that it been out the fact she'd strode in, at 4am. "You left your phone last night." She snapped.

So what? God that girl could find trouble anywhere. "It went off!" she added. I rolled my eyes 'So What?" After running out on Nathan last night, driving back in the middle of the night , she had had no idea where she stood and the night of sleep had not helped. Eventually she had to face Nathan – Something was telling her it would be today – and she had no idea of what to tell him, or how to act. Whether she was still mad at him, or now just hurt, or could forgive him, because he really was sweet, or did it only prove that Nathan didn't care and slept with anything that passed his bed.

"Your date called, he said; he'd loved to come meet you at your holiday address, so you could continue your date, he said you'd already agreed to it, so I just gave it to him, but what the hell were you thinking! It's not really the time is it!" I went pale white, and spit out my coffee over the counter. 'What!" he'd tricked Brooke into telling him where I was. "I never invited him up here! You think that a date is what I need right now, god that guy is pushy!" I was infuriated with Brooke, but stunned that the guy would do that. The idea he was already on his way here was terrifying to say the least.

"Haley where were you all of last night?" Brooke looked worried now, having dropped the Lucas subject. "With Nathan all night? Did you guys get a chance to talk?" thinking about earlier last night, and then about later that night I grinned. "Yes... we talked. I yelled."my grin dropped, "He said.. he said it was for the best. That what he did was for the best. I just lost it. Then I went to the rivercourt, and Lucas called and I agreed to call him when I got back!" Not sure if she should continue her story, and tell Brooke what happened at Nathan's, Haley stopped. "That doesn't explain why you were out all night, you came home, left you phone here and then left?"

I lay my head on my best friends shoulder and sighed. "I'm so tired of fighting and I've haven't felt so much in six years, that it just worn me out." I told her. I remembered last night, when I closed my eyes I could play the whole night in the most vivid way over and over again in my head.

"I tried to remember the times, I believed Nathan was a decent person, when he was that boy I loved. I ended up near the cabin he took me to for my 17th birthday, when he gave me the necklace." Brooke frowned. 'You went there in the middle of the night?" No. "Yes I did." Lying wasn't helping, plus keeping all the lied stories straight was much too exhausting.

"I wanted to know if the place that held my best memories, was still there. It is. Nathan is staying there right now. I suppose he was surprised to see me, since I just yelled at him, telling I never wanted to see him again." I felt like while telling her I was a million miles away, or maybe just two.. I was back at that cabin in my thoughts. "We had sex.. when he was asleep I left." I looked up at Brooke. Brooke seemed slightly stunned. I had forgotten, what the boy does to my body. Only his presence makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. His touch gives me that tickling feeling pooling in my belly. Brooke tapped my shoulder waking me from my thoughts. "You're still in love with Him. I think you and Nathan should have another talk. And this time try to let him explain what happened. Instead of telling him, why he's an asshole." She smiled. I scoffed and then pouted. "I never said that!" Brooke rolled her eyes. "Yes you did, you always do!"

Later that day after she worked out her frustrations on the boxing dummy, at the gym. She tried to gain control over her emotions. There was no denying that she still had feelings for Nathan, if she didn't it wouldn't have been so god damn hard to get rid of all the hurt he'd caused her.

Without changing, Haley jogged back from the gym. As a last time to straighten out her thoughts. She'd done her best to avoid Nathan all day long. She had decided that as long as she didn't know how she felt and thus didn't know what to tell him, she'd better not see him. To prevent herself from doing things she shouldn't do. Like having sex with the guy.

When she reached her front door however, there he was. Nathan Scott, looking good in his to-his-body-clinging-tight-t-shirt. She could see all his fine, toned muscles through the t-shirt.

Beside him was an also familiar man, blond and not bad-looking either, in his button up t-shirt. Lucas. She looked over herself; her work out clothes; knee length jogging pants and a _Only_ t-shirt.

She was about to turn around and run away when Brooke screeched from the window. "Haley Marie James, don't you dare to run away!" the boys turned around, and both their faces lit up. Haley mentally scolded at Brooke, before smiling at the men apologetic. "Hi" She flashed them a shy smile.

"Oh Haley! It's so good to see you.. this is where you grew up?" Lucas approached, Nathan looked apprehensively at her and Lucas. "Yeah, What are you doing where? I thought I was going to call you when I got back?" Lucas laughed and kissed her cheek.

"I know, and I hope you don't think I'm some weird stalking type, but I really liked our first date and I really hoped we'd get to know each other better when I knew more about where you grew up and all, I hope you don't mind." Haley broke her head over what to tell him, but eventually settled for; "I mind a little, I told you I was here you work out a couple of issues from the past, and my mind is really no on dating. Sorry." She cringed. His face fell, and suddenly looked pained. "Oh, I'm sorry."

"Like I said before Lucas, it's too soon to talk about past relationships, but I'm pretty screwed up at that point so.." She saw Nathan cringe behind Lucas as she said it. "Well, I'll be here a few more days.. If you change your mind..." she nodded and while Lucas got in his car and drove off.

"Who's that guy Haley?" Nathan came up behind me as I looked after Lucas. She barely heard him, but realizing that she had to answer him, she panicked and did what first entered her mind. She ran.

Unfortunately, she forgot she was dealing with an NBA player... Nathan grabbed her wrist, before she could get far. 'Haley!' Haley sighed, closing her eyes. When she opened them, Nathan was standing n front of her. "Haley? Who was that and why is he here. Tell me!" that was just it. She snapped. "I do not owe you an explanation! What I do with my life, is no longer any of your business! You gave up that right the moment you jumped into bed with Rachel." She was fuming, where the hell did he get off, ordering her like that. "Oh! You're mood swings are giving me a headache Haley! First you're upset with me. Then you're at my doorstep and we've sex, and then I wake up and you're gone, and when I come to see you, there is this punk, asking for you.." He looked hurt and Haley couldn't be more confused.

After all it had been Nathan the one the make the choice.

"Nathan, I don't know it either. I'm just as confused. I came here to make peace with the past. To face you and... I just wanted to let go of you and feel again." Nathan stepped closer, so close she could feel his breath on her face. "You can't fool me Haley. I know you felt last night as much as I did. You didn't feel anything for that guy, because you still love me." Haley took a step back. She finally made her point. Smiling she said; 'That's what I've been trying to tell you all along. I just don't want to anymore. I don't want to love you! You hurt me. I just want to go on with my life. Without you" shaking her head, Haley walked passed him and pulled her key out.

She felt as though she sat in this circle of happenings; thing kept repeating itself and given the past events.. she had to break that circle.

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Tada! So í'm strugling with the continuation... there is more past and something Haley doesn't know and Nathan has neglected to tell.

anyway please review!  
love philine


	6. It's kinda like the CSI Game

**Hi, everyone of you loyal readers! I know It's been awhile.. I kind of start this great inspirational journey story with Haley as Main Character, so I've been working on that as soon as that's up and running I'll publish a first chapter. Anyway, I've also been on vacation to.. well I nice place within my country and I've done a little writing there for this Fic and so there is now a new Chapter.. It's very emotional.. It's called as you can see 'Its kinda like the CSI game' Haley's getting some new information about what happened at the time and so she's totally turned around and has no idea of what to think of her relationship with Nathan. Just read and have fun! **

**- PS. I you're interested in reading an acual book.. _The perfect Man_ by Sheila O'Flanagan is a great book!**

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Chapter 6. It's kinda like the CSI game..

The next morning Haley shuffled into the kitchen the a killer Headache. Brooke's solution for everything.. Alcohol, was the bad guy. Brooke sat once again in the kitchen, chuckling at my Oh-my-god-it-hurts face. She was annoying company in the morning, especially when you drank too much and was hung over and even more when she was responsible for it too!

"I'd say Tree Hill ain't your place." She smile proudly. "You're right.. all I get here is Fights and a broken heart.. that and headaches.." That only made Brooke laugh so she, was ducking her presence by taking a shower.

After her shower, Haley decided to go for a run. It was after all the best way to avoid unwanted conversation with people, you really don't want to see. Which included just about everyone in Tree Hill.

She felt as though she hadn't gotten anywhere since she got to Tree hill, because she still didn't really felt something with Lucas and was still totally confused about Nathan. Something had to change, because running didn't help she'd tried that and that brought her back here eventually.  
She couldn't help but think that giving into Nathan might be the easy way. At least better than having to fight through all those old feelings. It hurt so damn much to love Nathan because of what he did but it would ease her mind so much.

Caught up in her thoughts she missed the steps running up to the Riverwalk and fell flat on her face. "Haley!" Haley groaned as she heard Nathan's voice call out for her. How was it possible he'd always be exactly there at these times! "What are you doing here?" he asked. She grunted as he helped her up. Adding a dramatic roll of her eyes to the glare she threw him she said: "Running, preferably far away from you, but somehow that never works out! " Nathan chuckled amused by my irritation.

"It's our spot Hales, why come here if didn't want to run into me?" Haley looked around; Yes, she was at the River walk, their spot. Geez, her subconscious was seriously messing with her. She shrugged. "Water eases my mind.." She told him, but he wouldn't buy it. "Sure it does, it always has that is why this is our spot." His insinuations and cocky smile made it seem like he'd already forgotten the argument from last night. However Haley hadn't.

"Nathan, leave me alone. I.. uh.. I" She sighed. Standing on two feet again, she just turned away and began to leave herself.

"I know I'm not supposed to follow you or look for you, but I've been thinking and I think there is something you need to know.." Nathan had debated about all of last night whether or not to tell her the truth. Seeing her eyes so full of pain, when they argued last night made him rethink the whole deal. He _had _hurt her.

That was why she wanted to forget about him, why she didn't _want_ to love him. It had surprised him, when she'd come back here with Brooke. Even more when he'd heard he was the reason she was back. Her presence made him see that he still loved her, that hadn't changed just because she'd been away. The fact she was there for him, and to forget him, made him rethink his decisions concerning Haley.

Her deep brown eyes flashed up at as he spoke the words. "What do you mean?" Her eyes filled with concern and confusion. Nathan took a step closer and took her hands. She initially pulled them away but he needed the contact.

"Remember, the week we.. split up?" He asked, knowing he'd probably get a sarcastic snappy comment to his head. "How can I forget. With Rachel grand debut as icing on the cake."

He suppressed the chuckle, at the fact he was right about the snappy comment, so she wouldn't think it was the happening that he found funny. "You remember what we were talking about that week?"

He brought his eyes back up to meet hers, and saw she blinked away tears. "Yeah, our college applications." He nodded. "Yes, College. You told me that you were doubting about going to Stanford, while that had always been your dream." Her clouded brown eyes still stared up confused. She didn't have a clue of where he was heading and clearly never saw the problem that he saw when he filled in the application.

"I realized something that week. I was going to Duke in the fall, you should go to Stanford. But you were so convinced we were forever that you filled in an applications for Duke too. I guess when I found your 'welcome to Stanford' letter in the trash I .. You deserved that. You deserved Stanford, you didn't need to be kept down by me, since I was convinced I was going to screw up in the end anyway. Everyone kept telling me that, you deserved better than me, because I was… " he didn't finish. Those words had hunted him a long time, and when this occurred he made the decision.

"I loved you so much.. Haley. But when I saw that letter in the trash, all those comments caught up with me.." Haley was now sitting on a bench at one of the dock's tables, crying. "Nathan.. " She whispered.

"I never slept with Rachel… Haley. I asked her over, because I needed her to spread a rumor, So at the Rachel manner, she figured the best way to spread the rumor – That I was cheating on you with Rachel – was by doing it. So she was half naked and there you were. I wasn't expecting you, but again if we were spreading a rumor…" he had taken off his shirt and then there was Haley and he had to look at Haley. She had looked so hurt and kinda sick. Before the first tears could make it down her cheek she had been gone.

"You, you broke my heart so … That's what you meant when you said it was for the better?"

"I don't understand.." She stammered. "I don't. You broke my heart, to keep yourself from breaking it later?" she frowned and wiped away the tears.

"I did it _before_ you'd made decisions on my account that were irreversible. Like turning down Stanford." He explained. He'd done it all to protect her, not to hurt her, or the mess with her life. But it had all been an indirect result.

"But I never went to Stanford, not even after you …" he nodded. "But you had a choice again."

Haley tried to control her breathing as the new information messed up her whole image of what happened. Her vision of Nathan. "Nathan… I would've been happy anywhere, as long as we were together. I would have followed you to Africa and back if that's what it took to be with you. I loved you that much." The rain was now pouring down on them and Haley ran her hand over her face to keep the water out.

"But, Everyone seemed convinced I was going to hurt and abandon you at some point so why not do t before you gave up something you wanted so badly!" She nodded, although she could see where he was coming from she was still conflicted.

"You could have just told me the truth you know!" Haley yelled. It felt incredibly disdaining to her that he 'handled' her like that.

"t seemed like the easiest way… Easier than convincing you that it was better to split up and to go to Stanford!" He yelled over the sound of the rain and wind. She really wanted to hit him. Men. Always the easiest way and always the coward way.

He walked up to her and pulled her close wrapping his arms around her, but Haley would have none of that. She pulled away and push him off. "Just because you try to justify hurting me with good intentions doesn't make it right! You should have consulted me! We were a couple it wasn't just about me or just about you! I had a say it that!" Haley walked away and upped her pace as she ran back to her and Brooke's apartment.

She had figured Nathan would try and follow but there was none of that. He just stood there, remaining unmoved.

His confession had indeed brought a lot of weight upon her decision and image of Nathan. Even though he hadn't cheated on her, with that skank Rachel, he hadn't trusted her opinion in the matter. He hadn't trusted her love for him, or without doubt his own for her. That last part definitely softened her heart. That he'd been so compromised by what everyone else thought. The fact was he was trying to do what was best for her, leaving out the pain it caused him.

"Haley! Where've you been! I was worried it's crazy out there!" Brooke exclaimed as Haley entered the apartment. On the couch there was Peyton and Rachel, watching a movie. Just there Haley made up her mind. She walked up to Rachel and said: "Sorry, for calling you a whore or a slut, whatever I might have said to you." Then she turned around, but then turned back and slapped her hard across her face. "And that was for lying to me."

Haley stormed out of the room and slammed her bedroom door.  
While she flopped on her bed burying her face in her pillow someone opened and closed the door. She figured it was Brooke, to see what was wrong. 'What was wrong' began to become an annoying question she didn't have an answer to.

"What do you mean Haley?" It wasn't Brooke's voice, but Rachel's. Haley was completely unfamiliar with Rachel's nice side. The girl sat down on Haley's bed. Haley lifted her teary face up from her pillow. "With what exactly?" She snapped. Rachel was still working on her nerves. Inevitably, of course Rachel would probably never be on her list of favorite people. When Hell freezes over, then maybe, but only maybe.

"With the 'sorry' and the 'me lying to you' thing?" She asked in the most calm and gentle way. "I talked to Nathan. He told me the truth." Haley stated, she didn't feeling like elaborating it any further, but no luck of course.

"I'm sorry, I haven't been exactly a good person, but Nathan came to me with that problem and ..  
Any nitwit could see he was madly in love with you. A lot of girls, me among them, tried to get with him at the time, but he wouldn't see anyone but you." Haley sat up against her headboard. "So when Nathan came to me with his problem.. explaining how he needed to do this for you. Because you deserved better than him." She laughed.

"Naturally I laughed at him, and told him it was the other way around, but he didn't see it that way. All he saw was… A girl that deserved her dream and was settling for less because she was attached to him." Haley bit her lip.

"I spend a lot of time with him after you left, not because we were dating, but because I was the only one who knew that what happened, didn't happen. He had to walk around town all day telling people that he slept with me and that he was _just_ 'sorry' for you. But at the end of the day he would sit with me and talk. Or actually cry.. he missed you so much , Haley." Rachel elaborated.

Haley would sit and think, process, but it made no sense. None of it. That he had the strength to do something his heart wasn't in. Or that he had the strength to keep lying.

"Thank you Rachel, I'm sorry for disliking you, while you've been so good to Nathan."

"Are you crazy! Nathan is still a ass that lied to you and belittled you! That boy deserves a smack in the head!" Haley chuckled and hugged Rachel. She was thankful for the full truth.

Now there was just the doubting about what to do with Nathan. Did this just mean he loved her even more than she knew and never cheated on her so that she just had to forgive him. Or was it belittling what he did and lying to her, and had hurt her nonetheless.

Haley honestly didn't know and had no idea of where to get her answer. For Six year Nathan and what he did had been on her mind for every single hour of every single day. Trying to forget him, hating him. And what for.. Because He thought she deserves better than him. Because he thought she deserved the world and way beyond that.

She'd began to hate the questions 'what's wrong' and How are you doing", 'are you okay?' Suddenly another thought came to mind and it reminded her the reason she was here in the first place. Lucas. He would still be here. What did that mean for him? Did this confession that she could finally forgive Nathan and moved on, or that she'd have no reason to hate him any longer and could finally love him.. make love to him, like she'd initially wanted to when she found out about him and Rachel.

Nevertheless, Haley figured she had to come up with some reaction now. Or she'd lose both of them and she could return to New York with whole set of new issues.

She pulled out a notepad a and made a pros and cons list for both Nathan and Lucas. Coming to the end of both lists she read them down and sighed; the only real question there was, was; Could she or could she not forgive Nathan?

Reading down her list of Nathan again her eyes stuck at the last pro.. 'I love him'

Yes, she thought, I do love him.

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**Tada... I have to admit that át a certain point It was a bit of a stretch but it's doable right? Let me know!**


	7. Is No one Who They Seem Anymore?

**So Here it is .. a new Chapter... of this gut wrenching love story.. I'm completely dreadng to write for somereason because the feelings not there for me.. but I started and you guys deserve an End! an happy one at that! So I'm writing.. it's going a litte better now.. I've been inspired by a lot of things.. other stories that a playing in my mind..  
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**and then there is the prospect of my New Fanfic.. i'm not sure when it'll come out.. I've got plenty of chapter already, but this is really my baby this story.. and I want it to be perfect and nothing less, so I'll probably be awhile.. It's Haley Story.. there will but Naley.. but it will but more that that I'll be epic every aspect. it'll not only be Naley, It'll me Paley and Baley and Chase/Haley and Haley/Sam and Haley/ Mouth(in non romantic way) It'll be Rachel/ Haley and much more Like Jaley and Laley.. and more! Like I said It'll be epic and lately inspired by the Everly Concert ROadtrip to South Dakota.. so.. just wait and See and well hopefully like!**

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Chapter 7. Is None one who they seem anymore?

If life was really that simple, people wouldn't lose any sleep over… yeah over what? Over lovers? Over life in general. Life wasn't simple.  
One side of Haley had the magnetic pull with Nathan, but the other side rejected Nathan. No wonder she was torn over the issue, her two side were rejecting each other!

Ugh! Haley rolled over in her bed, groaning. She wished she could just forget it all ever happened. Unfortunately, she tried that before and it got her back where she'd been at the start, only 6 years later! Yes and , don't forget, with another guy in the equation. She was screwed.

Haley banged her head against the head board of her bed and let out a frustrated cry. This is so unfair! I didn't do anything! Why did I deserve this! She thought.

Her bedroom door opened and Brooke peeked in. "Are you okay?" ARG! Haley picked up her pillow and threw it across the room the Brookes head. She really wished People stopped asking her that! It's not like it wasn't obvious that she wasn't! "Okay, fine. Be moody and all feeling bad for yourself but it's not helping." Brooke returned and walked away slamming the door.

Great! Now she'd pissed off her only friend in the big wide world too. How do people do that? You know? Just make up- their minds, deciding to forgive people and just go back to loving them. How do you decided you can go back to trusting them, and just put away the fears the pain the doubts and betrayal. Poor Lucas, he apparently liked her, otherwise he wouldn't have chased after after just one date, but she couldn't define whether she just not liked him, or that she was just still conflicted over Nathan. It was one big drama and Haley'd decided to not leave the house until she knew what to do with .. well her life.

Nathan bounced the ball on the street top and threw it at the basket. Naturally it when in and he collected the ball. It had been two days since he told Haley what really happened and she'd not gotten back to him. He could understand it was a shock to overcome and a change of perspective on things, but the only way he could look at it was as a good thing. It hadn't been as bad as she thought, so she should be able to forgive him now.

When he'd done what he did, he honestly thought it was the best thing for her, but seeing her six years later still hurting over it, being unresolved about it. It had been the worst thing for her.

Maybe that was exactly it! He'd hadn't been the worst for her. She loved him, they might have just made it through college and Haley and would have been happy now. Instead he hurt her, he to make sure he wouldn't do it in the future, embarrassed her towards most of their friends and family and messed up her life. Was that not as bad as cheating?

He threw is ball towards the basket frustrated and missed by far. " thought you were suppose to play professional ball?" Said a blonde guy that walked up the court with a basketball. "Nathan Scott right?" Nathan sighed and nodded. He hated it when he came back home for some piece and was still recognized. Nathan went to get his ball. When he returned he found the blonde guy shooting hoops with ease. He looked at the guy again. He seemed familiar.

Wait a second, he was that punk that was at Haley's doorstep. That guy she was seeing and from what he heard, only recently. "What are you doing here?" The guy rolled his eyes and shrugged; "Shooting hoops." Nathan suddenly felt the blood in his veins boil.

"Obviously, what I meant, was what are you doing in town! What are you doing with Haley." The blonde guy frowned and stood back clearly contemplating his reply. "What's it to you? What do you know Haley from?" Nathan threw the ball and it went it. Seeing that that went fine again Nathan trusted himself to answer. He also had a feeling this guy was after Haley and the last thing he wanted was someone to mess with Haley's head more than all this was already doing.

'I've know Hales for ever, she's the love of my life." Nathan smiled proud. That should scare the guy off enough for so he'd leave Haley alone. "If you love you her much Why aren't you together?" Ouch. This guy was annoying.

"that's none of your business, now what are _you_ to Haley." Nathan took another shot at the basket.

"I'm her boyfriend." He grinned. "Of sorts" he added and made a basket. Nathan felt as though he was punched in the gut. Asshole. Haley had been with him. He was the guy she's told him about, probably. "And with 'of sorts' you mean, she'd been on one date with you. Because she doesn't even like you. And since you're here instead of in New York I suppose you're incredibly pushy too."

Nathan was appalled. This guy, clearly liked Haley more than Haley liked him, although that calmed his nerves, the confidence that radiated off the guy was annoying.

"She invited me up here, she said she had some unfinished business here, but that I should stick around. I suppose you're the unfinished business." said he guy with a nonchalence that was worse that the grin, that was radiating off his face and shot up his ball.

Who the hell did the guy think he was. Her Boyfriend, uh, Clearly. But he's acting all righteous and he doesn't even know her! Nathan was shaking with anger and thought about his past happenings with Haley and began to grin. "Haley'll never be finished with me. She loves me and as long as she does you'll _never_ love anyone else. She told me herself, last week after we made love." He wasn't going to let this guy get away with claiming this kind of stuff and then walked away with a smug smile. Nathan walked up to the guy, and then held still mere inches away from the guy. "I'd give up if I were you. She'll _never_ love you. It'll take time, but she _will_ be mine again. She'll _never_ be yours." Nathan backed away and picked up his ball, dribbling away he released the breath he'd been holding and dared to smile, a little smug.

Haley was currently fighting the tears reliving every moment she's remember having spend with Nathan. Every time she tried to remember making love to Nathan, merely days ago, she hit what was like a road block on memory lane. She couldn't get herself to remember. Knowing it happened, she kept feeling as though it should have happened years ago, the first time they were there together.

Brooke had gone out with Peyton, Rachel, Jake and Mouth. Doing fun stuff as Haley was stuck inside dealing with her issues. Brooke voice echoed in her head. From time to time. 'I know you love him and that he loves you. You can _just_ forgive him. Stop making this so hard on yourself!' She knew Brooke had enough of her mopping around, but it just wasn't as easy as that. Was it?

A rude knock on the front door made Haley jump up, she fiddled a little with her hair trying to smooth it down and she hurried down the hall to answer it, whoever it was, wasn't being very patient. A little flushed Haley pulled open the front door to reveal an outraged Lucas, boiling with anger. Before she could manage a sentence, he pushed past her and began pacing through the living room. Still a little dumbfounded, Haley closed the door and walked into the living room. "Lucas what are you doing here?" She managed toremain calm, although she was nerve-racked.

"You slept with the guy?" He shouted. Again stunned, Haley plopped down in a chair. "and with that guy, you mean Nathan? I assume." She spoke still recovering from, this sudden atack!

She didn't understand why Lucas was acting all righteous, they'd been on one date! "Yeah, that guy. I assumed you remembered who you've slept with, or were there more?" His voice was sharp. "Nathan, is my old boyfriend. He hurt me a lot back in the day by cheating on me, or so I thought, that however never really stopped me for having feelings for me and.." She sighed this was going nowhere. "I've been struggling with it, and now it turned out he never cheated on me and that makes it all very confusing and your presence on top of it…" She trailed off. His presence made it worse! Lucas sat down but still look pissed. "So you slept with him? Yeah that makes sense!" Lucas' voice, now not only filled with venom but also with sarcasm, cut deep into Haley.

"I suppose it wasn't a thought through decision, but I don't get why you're upset about it all! It's not like we're together! We went on one date! And you're getting a stalkerish and pushy!" she sighed and stood up walking into the adjoined kitchen. "maybe it's better if you went home, and we canceled that second date…" She spoke, very aware of the fact that he mightn't like it and had one hell of a temper, carefully. She saw him rising from the couch again and tensed up. "You're the one being unfaithful and now you're the one telling me to go?" the whole scene was in so many way frightening. The fact the guy was so delusional being the one of them, the other one being the anger and venom in his voice.

Haley shivered involuntarily as she opened her mouth to speak again. "Yes, I'm sorry you feel this way, but I'm just not.. ready for a new Relationship. I guess Nathan and I have a lot to figure out and it's not fair to make you wait." The next thing she knew she felt his hand against her cheek quickly followed by a fist against her jaw that send her flying to the floor, only not before having hit the corner of the kitchen counter. She hissed out in pain as her head hit the floor. His foot collided with her stomach and just before everything turned black she heard the front door shut with a lot of noise.

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**Tada! I know it's very black... I thought it needed a little action because all the talking and not action was getting a little old and annoying no matter how often Haley'll have a change of heart.. Questions now are.. 'how much of a freak is Lucas?' (hihi, I now I made a freak of Lucas!) 'how bad is Haley hurt?' **

**'Who is going to find Haley, and are they finding her in time?" (Yes, probably in time, since I promised I'd finally make a Naley fic where both of them remain alive still the after the last chapter of my story..) 'Will Lucas go after Nathan out of Jalousy.. or just leave..?' ( sounds like a solid Idea... Lucas coming after Nathan with a Axe! hihi Grin grin...) Anyway! You'll find out about that in the next chapter.. sorry it's so short this one, I thought I should update, but really wanted to keep the outcome of this for the next chap.. So.. just wait!**

**Love ya all!**


	8. Reawakened

Chapter 8. Reawakened

Nathan was shaking.. with anger, with fear. Completely infuriated by whoever had done this to Haley. Her blond hair fell, as usually wavy around her face, framing it perfectly as she lay there. Eyes closed, her cheek reddened and of her usually beautiful brown eyes, was one now surrounded by the blue and swollen skin of her eye lid and cheek bone. As the scene flashed for his eyes the anger boiled up. She'd lain there, her head in a pool of blood, on the floor in her kitchen. The white bandage covered the battered wound on her forehead, making it all look like it was nothing. The doctor said that she was fine. She lost blood, but not a serious amount. She had a concussion, but not a serious one. She was unconscious, but that was just her body recovering from the blown to the head and she'd wake up soon.

He'd tried to contact Brooke, but she wasn't answering her phone. He'd answered a couple of Questions from the cops about what happened, but all that got him was a spot on the suspect list. Nathan already knew who did it. The Guy, whose name he didn't know. That why he hadn't been able to tell the cops. He'd been obsessed with her and then Nathan told him he slept with Haley. This was his fault, if he'd put aside his ego Haley would be fine now. The guy wouldn't have hurt her.

Nathan gripped her hand, bringing it to his face, kissing it. Praying she'd be okay. "Nathan!" Brooke rushed into the room followed by the rest; Peyton, Rachel, Jake, Mouth, Skills and even Millie. "Jesus, Brooke where were you!, why weren't you answering!" He cursed.

Brooke drew up a chair and pulled Haley's hand in her own. "What the hell happened, Nathan!" Brooke accusing tone fueled Nathan's already skyrocketing anger. "Well?" She countered.

"I don't know Brooke. I went to talk to her, but when I knocked I pushed the door open. I got worried so I went in to see what was going on an I found Haley, bleeding and battered on the kitchen floor." For a moment as he looked back at Haley, he thought he saw her eye lids flutter, but they remain closed. "Was it a robbery? Do you have any idea who did this." The hand print on Haley's face was so that it was obvious it had been a person not a accident.

"Yeah, I do. It was that guy she'd been seeing the pushy one that she was seeing in New York." Rachel frowned, "What was a guy she was seeing in New York doing here?" Nathan sighed and returned his attention back to Haley, while he heard Brooke mutter; 'hence the 'pushy part' to Rachel.

Haley looked so fragile, so broken, it made his heart ache. He hated seeing Haley like that, unconscious beaten. "But you think Lucas did it?" Nathan shrugged. 'If that's the guy's name, than yes." Brooke slowly traced a finger along the not hurt side of Haley face. Her eyes brimmed with tears. "I can't believe someone would do that to Haley.." She whispered.

"_When the lights go down  
And there's nothing left to be  
_

_When the lights go down  
and the truth is all you see  
And I wonder if all my life's about  
The sum of all my fears and all my doubts  
Yeah, when the lights go down"_

There was tearing pain. For a moment as she became conscious of the blackness around her, it felt as though she was captured in her own mind. She didn't feeling her body, she didn't feeling any part of her body just tearing pain. As though there was just her mind. And the song playing _in_ her mind. When the lights go down… Haley remembered the burning pain in her cheek as Lucas had hit her and then the piercing pain of his fist. Lucas.

She had lain there, waiting.. hoping to die soon. She felt low, what she'd done to Lucas had been unfair, but what he'd done hadn't been right. Her mind went silent for a moment. The song had gone. Just her thoughts. I thought 'on the edge of death experiences' were supposed to be white and full of dead relatives. Haley thought. Then there was the sound of someone knocking.. She didn't who and what was knocking and on what. As she indentified the sound of a door opening and closing, she heard a voice call her name. 'Haley!' She wanted the call out to the voice but she didn't feel her body. Not her lips nor her tongue. She didn't have a voice. Just blackness.

"Jesus Haley!" the voice call out. Suddenly her entire body ached, but not in pain. It was more like a craving. She could feeling her body and she could feel hands on her body. She felt her eyelids and she felt them getting heavier. "Haley..." the voice was slipping away. She was trying to find the control over the muscles, but there was still just blackness. She was fighting the heaviness, craving the touch of the hands. Her sense of feeling was slipping away again. She was falling she could feels it. There was air. There was a soft tinkle on her lips, as if being kissed feathery light.

Blackness.

Pain.

Hurt.

Angst.

Exhaustion.

Her hands was tinkling. There was warmth there. The feeling in her hands was back. The tinkle turned into pressure. Painful pressure. She gave up the fight against her eyelids. Now it wasn't unconsciousness pulling her away. It was sleep consuming her.

Nathan sat up in his chair as Haley eyelids fluttered a little and her hand clasped in his pulled a little. "Hales.." He breathed. The rest had gone down to get some food. The fact the doctor had said she was going to wake up for sure and that she was going to be fine had calmed their nerves enough to leave her side. But Nathan refused to leave her side. He was still wracked with guilt. He didn't believe it until her saw it with his own eyes, that Haley was going to wake up and going to be fine...

He'd turned on the radio and currently 'Over me' by the Wreckers was playing. The soft melody enveloped the room as Haley wiggled her nose and was softly snoring now. It calmed him, now she seemed to be sleeping instead of being unconscious. He released her hand after kissing it again.

Two hours later was still sitting at her bedside, looking at her longingly, hoping she'd awake soon. Haley wiggled her nose again, she'd done it a dozen times in the past two hours, Nathan thought it was pretty cute, he used to watch her all the time, when she'd sleep over at his place or the other way around. Although she'd never sleep with him, she had no problem with letting him sleep over, or staying over at his place, because they always liked to be close. They used to hate to be apart, but now after everything that had happened she seemed not to get far enough away from him.

Though this time Haley's eyelids fluttered and then slowly opened. The room was dark, because it was late and she was supposed to be sleeping, so her eyes opened quite easily. Her big brown eyes stared up at him then, there was a stab of pain cross her eyes. Her swollen skin around her eyes had dropped a little. The swelling dropped lower and lower on her face and as it was around her eyelid when she got to hospital it was now more beneath her eye. "Shhh, close your eyes." He whispered. She did as he said but when she opened them again they were filled with tears.

Haley was struggling to keep the room from spinning. The first time she opened her eyes, she saw Nathan hovering over her bed. She closed her eyes again because the room wouldn't hold still, but then she remembered exactly what happened and how she got here. She felt the eyes fill up and opened them again. "Nathan.." She whispered, she didn't see him.. Fighting the stabbing pain in her forehead and eyes, she rolled her eyes around to see him. He was standing by the window, looking at her. Their eyes met, but Nathan swiftly looked away. "Nathan.." It merely came out as a whisper. Nathan seemed conflicted and suddenly didn't want to come close anymore, although she knew he'd been sitting by her bedside holding her hand all through the time she'd lain there.

"What are you doing there?" her voice a little louder but a lot more groggily too now. "Waiting for you to wake up.." He shrugged a little. Haley's eyelids dropped. They felt heavy and turning her eyes in the uncomfortable angle made her head ache worse. "Come here." She motioned with her hand and coughed a little.

Nathan turned around from the window as he heard her cough. Immediately, he was near her to give her some water.. "Here you go." She sipped off her water and then smiled at him. It'd been a long time since she'd smiled at him, like she liked him. He softly touched her face, thinking how Lucas could have possibly wanted to hurt her. "Does it hurt?" He asked, he'd hated for her to be in pain, especially because.. well he was responsible. She chuckled a little sourly, but with a hit of a smile playing on her lips. "Yes, like hell." Closing her eyes for a bit again, opening again as Nathan began to speak. "I'm sorry Hales. It was all my fault –.."

"What?... Lucas. It was Lucas. He was mad at me. Huh.. he.. you?" She stuttered. Nathan sat down a ran a hand over her head calming her down. "It was Lucas who did this to you. It's just that.. before he came to you, I spoke to him. At the Rivercourt. I guess, I challenged him, or I don't know.. I told him about the night at my place... He didn't like that." When Lucas had looked the way he had, it had worried Nathan. That was exactly the reason he came so soon after Lucas had left; he hadn't trusted the situation.

"No, he didn't." Haley said, again a hint of a smile playing on her lips. Nathan turned his eyes away from her and sighed. "It wasn't his place though." She added.

Haley tried to sit up a bit and took Nathan's hand. "it's not your fault Nathan. He had no right to be mad at me, let alone hit me into hospital!" It frustrated Haley to pieces that Lucas had done what he did and then just got away with it. The fact that Nathan took more responsibility for this that he had warmed her heart. It was obvious that Nathan wished her no harm.. he never had.

The whole matter playing on her heart resurfaced; she already knew he meant her not harm. She'd established that the moment he told her what really happened; He'd only wanted the best for her.

"You found me?" She sighed. Her headache was making it hard to think straight without getting distracted with thoughts of 'ouch that hurts..'  
Nathan stroked her hair again, moving closer to the bed, sitting down on its edge. "Yeah, I had a bad feeling about Lucas.. so I decided to check up on you, knowing that Brooke was out with the rest." Haley nodded. "Where are they?" Nathan frowned. Haley smiled at the confused look playing on his face. He looked positively adorable. 'the rest.." She clarified.

"oh" He grinned over his silliness, "Downstairs.. or home. The doctor told them to leave." Haley found that odd, that her best friend was asked to leave but that they left her 'random not so close anymore with friend' stay. "Them? Not you?" she smiled. Nathan shrugged.. I might have told them I was your boyfriend, so I could stay." He sighed. "I'm sorry Hales.. Watching you lie here, all hurt and beaten up; It breaks my heart. I love you, I want so much better for you."

Haley couldn't help but throw in a sour comment at that; 'Yeah, 'cause that worked so well for you last time.." -_-' A stab of pain crossed Nathan's face and Haley flinched. "sorry.." she whispered apologetic. "I didn't mean that." Nathan shook his head and sighed helpless. "But, it's true. Every time, I try to make something better for you, something worthy of you.. you end up worse!"

Haley felt a tears slide down her cheek and closed her eyes. Her headache had gotten worse and she felt like she was slowly slipping away in pain and darkness. The pain was so consuming in both her head and her heart. She just missed Nathan. Sitting there half up in her bed.. tears running down her cheeks and her head pouncing, she felt this cold shiver running down her back and she just missed his touch, his embrace, His smell. She just missed him.


	9. Redirected

**So Here's a New update! i know I've been a bit out there.. But I'm finishing up.. it won't be much longer I'm thinking one or two more chapter after this one.. I promise A Naley Story with an happy ending so you're getting one..**

**Someone told me that they wanted Brooke to wake Haley up... (figure of speech) so i thnk I put that in here...**

**Have fun!**

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Chapter 9. Redirected

"Nathan.. go home!" Brooke told him when Nathan poured his tenth cup of coffee of the day. The clock in the waiting room displaying 13:00. "Brooke, leave me alone!" Nathan was annoyed by Brooke's mingling. Haley had asked him to leave last night, after their little talk. She said she was tired and confused and had a headache that was making things worse. So he left, with pain in his heart. This morning Brooke had returned. She'd chatted with Haley and told him that Haley didn't want to see him yet. He'd been pacing through the waiting room, since he was send away.

"Nathan, this isn't going to make her forgive you any faster! She needs time.." Brooke tried the reason with him, but found that Nathan's mind wasn't to be changed. "Then I'll sit here till she does. She doesn't need to know that I'm here, I just want to be here."

Brooke groaned in utter frustration. "Nathan! Go HOME!" With that she stormed off and left Nathan sitting there, with his hands in his hair. It pained him to see that after everything She still didn't want to be near him and even though he might have saved her life, she still doubted his love.

The voice in the back of his head told him, it was because he caused it too, while trying to make things better. Like she said! She was right he was nowhere near worthy of her love.

Brooke stormed into her displaying emotions of Annoyance and she guessed; "Nathan still there?" Brooke nodded. "That boy is so darn stubborn! I get that he loves you and that he wanted you to forgive him, but that doesn't have just like that! And mopping around like that isn't helping!"

Haley sighed, she had to admit that it warmed her heart to know that he refused to leave her side. As to say he wasn't going to let her go this time. She didn't really know why she asked him to leave, maybe because she felt like seeing him so worried might guilt her into forgiving him. She just wanted him to man up and tell her the truth, instead of keeping on apologising.

Maybe the whole point of him pushing her away at the time, was just him feeling scared and trapped. Maybe, she just pushed her away because his feelings for her scared him.

But who could guarantee that wouldn't happen again. "What's your mind at?" Brooke asked as Haley let out another sigh.

"Nathan." He stated. "it's kind of mind occupying." She said with a slight smile.

"Yeah, it's kind of time occupying too, I have no idea how many times I've told him to leave." Haley did.. although she could make a decent guess.. about 6 times in a conversation and there were 5 conversations this morning so you do the math.. inevitably she'd have to talk to him.., but until then.

She'd lie there staring out the window.. trying to figure out how to deal with all this. 'Cause times it felt like the only way to move on with her life was to move on with Nathan.. and she started to wonder if maybe that was the truth. In that case the only way to solve this was to talk to Nathan.

=0=

Nathan still sat in the waiting room, waiting for Brooke to tell him Haley wanted to see him. He changed position for the sixth time that hour and sat back. "Uhm, Excuse me could you tell me where I can find Haley James.. She's my girlfriend and I only just heard she was in here." The hairs in Nathans neck went up as he heard those words and that voice. "Uhm, her Boyfriend is already here sir, I'm not allowed to provide any information to outsiders." The nurse at the desk said doubtfully.

"What! I'm her boyfriend! Who else is here trying to pretend to be her guy!" Nathan got up and walked to the desk. "Excuse me m'am could you call the cops, this guy hit my girlfriend into the hospital yesterday." He stated. The nurse began dialling swiftly. "What! I didn't do anything to her! You're the one messing with her. You're not her boyfriend! I am, she doesn't even like you!"

Nathan tried with everything in him to keep his cool, for Haley's sake. This time he was going to do it for Haley and it would work out well for Haley! "Maybe you should go Lucas, the cops will be here soon.' The police had been here earlier this morning to take Haley's statement. She had testified that it was Lucas who hit her.

"You brainwashed her didn't you! She didn't remember what happened and you just putted the idea that I did this to her in her mind!" Nathan Was having a hard time remaining cool, so he took a few steps back and walked back to the chairs in the waiting room. "Please M'am tell me where she is.. that guy hurt her an brainwashed her! I have to see her!"

"Sorry sir, I can do no such thing, hospital policy." Nathan found it difficult not to beat the crap out of the guy while he was blabbing these lies around. He looked up into the hallway where Haley's room was to find Brooke standing at the end of it, watching him and Lucas.

A little later while Lucas continuingly bothered the desk nurse to tell him where she was, the Police came in. "We got a call that the guy who abused Miss James was here." The nurse pointed over to where Lucas was pacing. Nathan got up and went to talk to the cop. "Hi I'm Nathan Scott. I found Haley..." he explained. The Cop nodded. "That's Lucas ... Roe I think his name is... This is the guy that hurt her." The cop nodded while He walked back up to Brooke. "I hope they'll send him in for life!"

Brooke chuckled: "Not very likely, but maybe she should file for a restraining order. That way she'll be saver." Nathan nodded.

"I'm proud of you Nate." Brooke smiled. "You remained calm and did what was best for Haley and the entire situation. Good job." Nathan chuckled sourly.. "I'm glad I can do something to fix the mess I made.."

Brooke skipped back into her hospital room with two cups of Tree Hill's very own 'Café' Coffee. "Ahh.. Coffee!" Haley sighed. She was feeling better. The doctor gave her some painkillers and other than that she just needed rest. "Doc said you would be released tomorrow, Nathan was relieved." Haley rolled her eyes as Brooke handed her her coffee.

"I am too, what does Nathan have to do with that." Brooke took a chair next to Haley's bed and said: "He loves to insanely you know." Haley frowned. Brooke had been nothing but annoyed about Nathan's behaviour and hadn't been able to do something good since her Broke her heart!

"What happened with 'Ugh, he refuses to leave! Whine whine'!" She asked.

Brooke sipped of her coffee and sighed. 'He really tried to change Haley..." Haley didn't need to hear the rest. She knew he tried and tried and that killed her. That he kept trying. Something inside her wanted him to give up to prove he wasn't worthy...

"Lucas was here..." Brooke's words came through. 'What!" She uttered! "Nathan kept his cool, told the nurse to call the cops and sat back down.. I've never seen him like that!"

Haley didn't know what to say. After everything that happened she had not expected Nathan to behave like that. "Sometimes it's worth changing your perception of someone for.." Brooke told Haley. Haley looked up at her bestfriend with a slight smile. "I guess."

Haley took a deep breath and turned to Brooke completely: "You wanna get Nathan for me? I need to talk to him."

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**So... Whatcha thinking? It's cool right? Yes I know.. bit too much? Cliché ?**

**I hate being a Cliché, but can't help it.. anyway.. I'm working on this really epic story.. that gonna be great, but I'll publish it when It's done.. completely so I know I'll be my best. Anything less wouldn't do the Story good. So It might take up to another year before it's up, but it'll come.**  
**I love writing and I'/ll write things on the side.. I've got a lot un finished Projects going.. So after this is done you'll hear from me again soon. **

**Next chapter will be up hope the end of next week or the week after... So. Later!**

**Love philine!**


	10. Reignited

**Hi, friendly, and hopfully still loyal readers of mine... I know this chapter is awfully overdue...**  
**It's the last chapter... I've been so completely occupied with other things, such as school, that I did not get the chance to write very much..**  
**that combined with a terrible case of a writers block, this chapter is two months late. I've sorry..**

**Moving on, this is indeed the last chapter and therefore a good one.. (not because it's done, but because of the happy end I'm sure i've promised everyone...) the story certainly didn't go as place, for I had no idea of how to write it...**  
**At first, the plot of the story ended up in my files of Fanfic Atemps.. (the ideas are there but the results aren't always to my satisfaction..)**  
**Anyway.. I did finish it.. with lost of time and effort..**

**At last, have fun! R&R!**

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Chapter 10. Reignited

Haley stumbled by Brooke's side into their apartment, for her balance had not returned quite yet. As Brooke dropped Haley hospital bag by the door Haley plopped down her the couch sighing heavily.

"I, for one, am happy for be home. I still detest hospitals as much as I always have." Haley sighed. Ever since her conversation with Nathan, yesterday they seemed to be getting closer although she refused to become as loved consumed as she was 6 years before, for she knew that kind of love was bound to hurt her again. He had been so free to just jump her as he came into her room, the day before. Haley smiled at the memory: He barged in, sat down on her edge of her bed and kissed her; persistent passionate and still in consideration of her bruised face.

"Are you again with your mind at Nathan.." Brooke, who clearly began to get enough of not being Haley's main occupation anymore, whined. Haley smiled up at Brooke and sighed contently. "Of course I am… when in the past 6 years haven't I been?" a hoarse throaty chuckle sounded for the still open doorway. There, leaned against the doorpost, stood that same tall dark haired handsome man that hunted her for all those years. "Good to know." He said, a smile spread over his handsome features.

Haley let out a small sigh as her eyes fell to Nathan. "How are you today my lady?" He said as worked a single red rose from behind his back. Haley's smile grew wider, as the gesture touched a part of her heart that last had been touch by that same man. "Much better, though I still could be better.." the smile forming a grin. "Good enough for me to swipe you away? I promise It won't be for tiring." Haley noticed Brooke chagrin as Nathan so gentlemanly kneeled down by the couch and handed her the rose. "Maybe.. I think it might be better if I rest some more before going anywhere."

Nathan sighed, stood up and said: 'Then I guess… well you leave me no choice." He bend down and swept her off the couch as if she weighted nothing more than feather. . Holding her in his arms he walked out. "Nathan! Put me down! Put me down Nathan!" Haley had noticed he'd changed as much as herself over the last years, but since yesterday their relationship was different – not just different from the day before that, but also from 6 years ago. Surprisingly enough, he was much more stubborn and much less worshipping than he'd been. He fought her more than he ever did.

Haley wasn't sure why it was that they'd been so far apart and that when they finally reconciled, he began fighting her in a way she'd never considered, but might be, good for their relationship.

Mistakes had been forgiven. As soon as he'd slammed his lips down on hers the day before. And now they were building a way back in a way where neither wanted to give an inch. They'd fought the rest of that day, yet there hadn't been a doubt in her mind about ending what they just started. This was their way of being equal. If they fought equally as hard, they'd give in just as much. And to be honest she enjoined struggling with him. As the car Nathan had put her in arrived in that same clearing that held so many memories for her all her needs to fight him for taking her, left her.

Nathan Grimaced as Haley's frown, originally placed there by his bold move to pick her up and take her, died into a soft smile. A moment Nathan savored, for it would last long. He moved around the car and opened her car door picking her up once more. "Nathan! Put me down! I can walk you know!" She struggled in his arms, but he held her tightly to his chest.

Inside the house Nathan dropped her down on the couch, that same couch they christened only a few weeks before. Nathan had noticed the same changed he knew Haley had noticed, but Haley's ways had been an encouragement to him, letting him know that she wasn't going anywhere anymore.

Haley had stood up from the couch and began pushing past him. He chuckled and clasped her wrist. "Where do you think you're going?"  
"Let go! I'm leaving! You're evil you know! I need to rest Nathan, I just got out of the hospital!" Yet he merely grinned and pulled her in pulling her close to his chest. 'Nathan! Let me go!' she slammed her small fists into his chest, trying to wiggled out of his grasp.

His hands slowly slid down to her waist, still holding her there tightly. Haley kept on wiggling until she felt his fingers moved up her blouse from the hem. She stilled her movements and let her eyes meet with his. His eyes glistered with mischief and a twitch of deep desire. She set her hands on his chest and tried to push away, Needless to say Nathan wouldn't let her go. In one swift move Nathan captured her awaiting lips with his. All need to fight Nathan, ceased within her as his lips covered hers. Wrapping her arms around his neck, and with little help from Nathan, her legs around his waist, she found herself more wrapped up in Nathan, then ever before. Literally and figural

Soon she found herself, with very little clothes on her back on that same couch again. Every touch, every stroke, every kiss, seemed to heighten her senses, to the point where only his mere touch could make her wither underneath him and so it did. Her every nerve end ached to be touched.  
Incoherent, murmurs, were the most she could manage over her lips, as Nathan succeeded to provide every single piece of skin with the undivided attention of his tongue.

Yet, providing certain places with more than average attention, this way Haley lay shuddering underneath his tongue as he took time to lavish both her breasts and nipples, arching her back up in pure delight. Her hands traveled slow, but with attention, over the bulging muscles under with skin. Raking his abs with her nails, naturally well manicured by Brooke Davis herself during her time in hospital, pushing them down, until she hit upon, his only remaining piece of clothing.

A dark growl sounded from Nathan's throat as she stopped the downward movements. "Hales.." He whined as, instead of proceeding, she traced the tips of her fingers back up his chest. To, when at the top again, rake her nails downward again, repeating the same motion several times, teasing, torturing him, as he did with the excruciatingly slow movements of both his hands and tongue.

Nathan was pleasantly surprised to find Haley to be such a pleasurable lover, for he knew her not to have a whole lot of experience. He groaned repeatedly at Haley's torturing, before he grabbed her hand and pushed it down his boxers. The silky feel of her hands covering his manhood, made Nathan proceeded at an entirely different rate. He pulled more down on the couch, as he pulled her legs up, ridding her too, of her last piece of clothing.

Haley waited with held in breath, as Nathan moved her and rid her of her panties with very little efforts. Her legs still up, he place himself once more above her this time in between her thighs, holding his face a mere inch from hers. "God, I've missed you Hales." He breathed before capturing her lips once more in a fierce kiss, and slowly entering her.

Nathan watched the mesmerizing look on Haley's face, as she fought the urge to close her eyes, and listened pleased to the chanting sounds of her moans as she came.  
He was certain, that these were by far the most amazing things in the world. As the both came down from their high, he moved off of Haley, wrapping them both in the blanket that hung over the back of the couch. Haley sighed contently, laying her head on his shoulder, yawning and closing her eyes at last. "You promised it wouldn't be tiring.." she muttered half asleep. "You should know better that to believe everything that comes out of my mouth." He grinned, pulling her a little closer.

"I'll keep that in mind…" she wiggled a little closer to Nathan and Nathan in return placed a kiss on top of her head. 'I love you, Hales.."

"Whatever, I was told not to believe everything that comes out of your mouth." She muttered, with a hint of amusement evident on her face. Nathan grinned, at the lazy smile on her obviously satisfied face as she slowly dozed off.

"Not, that bad a holiday now is it." He sighed, more to himself that for her, for she was already asleep. "Love you too, Romeo.." Haley murmured.

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**Tada.. I know the end is kinda really cheesy... like really cheesy.. buut none the less, it's a happy end.. (that's more than I can say about my last two Naley fanfics..) Don't forget to Review!**

**- Love Philine**


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